Wednesday, 25 July 2012

No news is good news?

No news is supposed to be good news but it really doesn't feel like it!  Sorry I haven't blogged for ages. We had a meeting with our placing social worker a week after panel and since then we haven't heard anything at all. I'm on school holidays now and it's just driving me mad. I'm now preparing for when I go back in September but when we broke up I was so excited about the impending babies and now I'm just sad. Either the two children they told us about don't really exist, they have been linked with someone else or they are just lurking in foster care. None of which are great. We were so ready for a big wait until they said things like: "we probably won't really need your matching profile" and "there is a one year old and a two year old which seem like a really good match" and "looks like you might want to get those rooms ready!".  If we hadn't been told things like this we would certainly feel a lot less horrible. It felt like it was going to be really quick and here we are...over a month later and we've heard nothing. Some friends of ours have been approved for over 1.5 years so I don't know what I'm moaning about! Shuddup woman and pull yourself together! I honestly wouldn't be moaning if we hadn't been dropped these tantalising nuggets of information and then.....silence! Eurgh. So infuriating! What was that about not moaning, you say...?! Sorry! I spend my whole life telling people to make the best of things and enjoy what you have. I'm partially sighted which means I'm not doing the career I set out to but I love being a teacher so everything worked out!  I know that we should be enjoying the time we have left as a couple, but it's just so hard now. My emotions are all over the place!  We just had a lovely relaxing holiday in a couples only hotel so there were no children, no curious parenting techniques to discuss, no cuteness...brilliant! It made us feel much better. I'm not really sure what to do with myself at the moment. My brain is full of migraines and emotions and there's not much room left for actual functioning! Ho hum...there are worse things...I'm just not managing this well because I like to either do things *right now*  or pick a date and start planning.  That's a brief summary of where I am now. I don't really know to be honest! The social worker is supposed to call me tomorrow so hopefully she will. Hope you are all well and enjoying the sunshine! X