Saturday, 26 April 2014

The surprising things that happened when I became a parent...

I've been musing this for a while.  I wonder how many of you will relate to it.

  • My Mum hunger knows no bounds.  I can eat and eat, but then I never sit down which leads me to...
  • My socks wear out ridiculously quickly.  I have resorted to digging out my old brown suede Birkenstocks (seriously bad lesbian stereotype shoes) to wear around the house
  • My slight gay shyness has worn off.  I am now ridiculously matter of fact about pretty much everything, leading to such gems of conversation from Squib as:
    • Grandad:  Is that a toothbrush in that little bag?
    • Squib: No Grandad, it's a tampon
    • Grandad: Oh...I see
    • Squib: Yes, Grandad, you can put it up your girly bits*
    • Grandad: Oh, erm...oh
    • Sqiub: Oh no, you not got girly bits, you got a penis..
    • Grandad: Er...yes...yes I have
* I should explain here that the girly bits thing isn't out of prudishness it's just a collective term for all the bits!
  • I have a muscle on my arm which I must have omitted to learn about at medical school but it's now so large it actually makes me feel a little bit queasy
  • My eco conscience is now constantly conflicted.  We live a constant quandary of whether we should buy free range chicken or put the money in the bank.  Whether we should use ecover or use a washing liquid which actually removes stains.  Whether we should actually carry a small bag with a flannel in it to avoid the use of baby wipes (we don't do that...a step too far in my book)
  • My need for pyjama wearing is bordering on extreme.  If I'm not in my pyjamas before 8pm I start getting twitchy
  • If I can have a conversation with a friend the whole way through without it being broken up into about 7 chapters I view it as a triumph
  • I didn't realise Squib would pick up my habit of singing everything quite so quickly.  Now if I sing her a question, she sings me a response
  • I worry more now about seeming old.  My grey hairs started to bother me....I've hit the bottle
  • I don't want our lounge to be a tidy, minimalist space.  I want our house to be cheerful and full of toys and pictures.  Our once blank walls are now filled with paintings and photos.  There's something symbolic about that I'm sure
  • I never realised quite how much I would enjoy planning her birthday parties.  I mean I am IN MY ELEMENT!  Watch this space for all the details of Squib's gorgeous birthday tea party
  • I am even more likely to talk to random old people.  I want Squib's sense of social responsibility to grow.  I am overlooking stranger danger for the time being....I love that she will engage with those around her and care about others.  I bought a man who didn't have any change a cup of tea the other day and I'm not sure I would have done that pre-Squib.  I also seem to give money to every charity box and busker...such is the toddler desire to put coins into small holes
  • I can occupy my time planning snacks and amusements for Squib on an aeroplane...I will post all my ideas at a later date!
  • I actually quite enjoy Peppa Pig...sometimes it's quite funny!
  • Same goes for slides and climbing'll be quite sad when Squib grows out of going to the park!
  • I went through a phase in the early days of using two in one shampoo and conditioner.  I soon learned my lesson as the minute or two saved resulted in hours of horror from frizz.  I won't be going back to those dark days!
  • Shopping used to be such a fun activity.  Shopping with a toddler is just hell.  Shopping without a toddler now is always quite like a frenzied binge
  • Who knew that I would ever really advocate cooking tray bakes over cup cakes?!
  • And of all our parenting discussions and wonderings when it comes to boundaries I generally stick with these simple guidelines...if it doesn't
    • hurt anyone
    • damage anything
    • cause danger
          then it's OK!  Although this can be difficult when I'm tired or she's tired or Mama's tired!

  • I also try to keep in the back of my mind that my job is about supporting my family and providing a safe space full of love for Squib to grow and learn and be the person she can be

That's it.  Although I may add to and evolve this post slightly!


  1. Hello,
    I am a psychologist and a blogger ( I am currently conducting a survey of bloggers who post about pregnancy, fertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, and parenting. I would like to extend an invitation for you to complete the brief survey found here:
    (I am very sorry to leave this in a comment like a spammer!)
    Thank you so much!
    Dr. Grumbles

  2. Hi Jemma, I have just found, and read, all of your Blog!...I wanted to say a big thank you as I have found it really interesting, informative and funny! My partner and I are currently considering adopting and so to find a blog we can relate to about a lesbian couple adopting has been wonderful. Please keep blogging.. I noticed it's been a while, hope all is well? thanks again, Sarah x