we just had the visit from our social worker to discuss my partner's childhood experience but she started by talking to us about what sort of child/children we are hoping to adopt. Why did she start with that?! Because people are ALREADY asking about what adopters are coming through the system. Crazy! And because we live out of the city, we're more desirable as they have lots of adopters within the city, and children from the city can't be placed with them as they need to be placed further away. I hope that makes sense. But having previously said that we were looking at panel in July/August, they are now saying May/June. I mean...we shall see...but it certainly seems like they want to move forward with us because there are squiffles out there who need homes, and we have quite a good one for them. It's beyond exciting, but it makes us really need to think more about things like adoption leave: who is going to take it etc. etc. Big decisions!
So we were talking about what sort of children we would be happy to accept. We actually said today (and I agreed) that we could be approved for 1 or 2 kids. Currently I've been thinking 1 and my other half has been saying 2. I've conceded that we wouldn't mind two if they were very close in age. I'm not sure I could cope with a one year old who isn't sleeping combined with a four year old dealing with loss and grief. So then she suggested twins (!!!). How hilarious would that be?! After our best friends had twins in October, if we were placed with twins it would be really weird. And also bloody hard work. But then, I'm not sure I could face going through this process again so...who knows. We are still undecided.
We talked about the fact that we would be prepared to accept a child with a level of disability. Our main caviat to that is that we want them to have a reasonable expectation of an independent adult life. Not because we'll want to get rid of them (!) but because for me, that's what parenting is all about; nurturing your children so they grow and develop and are eventually ready to be an independent, functioning part of society. That's something which is important to me.
So it was a very exciting visit, full of things to think about. Our social worker is so lovely and fills us with confidence. She is so great. She seems really genuinely interested in our lives, even all the little bits and bobs and is fantastic at helping us to interpret how the experiences in our lives have shaped who we are, and what influence this might have on our parenting. I really do feel that we are so lucky to have been given such a wonderful social worker...it's great!
I'm so thrilled that we are going to be young (ish) parents. I feel so priveleged to be entrusted with the welfare of a little person or two and I take the whole thing very seriously. My imagination is running wild currently with what sort of child will be placed with us, what they will be like, will it be a boy or a girl etc. etc. and thinking about all the things we will do with them.
So happy, happy times!
Oh, yes, and it's half term! Wooo!