Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Response to Fraser McAlpine's Guardian Article


Really Fraser?  All of the adoptive parents you meet in your panel are middle class snobs?  Because in our experience we have met loads of adopters from all kinds of backgrounds, from factory workers to hairdressers to University professors and radio personalities.  A huge range of careers, a huge range of cultures and ethnicities and many of them, not middle class at all.  But I resent the fact that you assume that because my parents have degrees and paid for me to go to University that somehow that means I'm a snob who would look down on my daughter's birth family and encourage her to forget them.  How dare you!  How dare you tar me with that large brush which you so blindly assume will do for everyone?

Our daughter has a quirky sort of American popstar name and we love it.  We think it suits her.  Her birth father chose it for her...he didn't manage to give her much else apart from 50% of her DNA but what right do we have to change it?  None.  Our social worker (arguably a middle class snob) said "oooh...what a spelling! Don't let that put you off...you can change it!" and we said "no way!  It's her name!"  So how dare you? And she sits in her little music class with the likes of Rory and Jemima and Penelope and I sometimes think "I wonder when you will realise that your name is a bit different?"  But if she does, and if she minds, we will talk to her about it.  If she doesn't like her name, of course she can change it, but the important thing is that it will be HER CHOICE.  

In my opinion a name is a most excellent people sieve.  It weeds out those who are too snobby to contemplate an association with someone who doesn't have a ridiculous middle class name...Katie Hopkins horrendous display on This Morning showed me that these people do actually exist.  Well, her children wouldn't have the pleasure of knowing the awesome, funny, clever and downright cutie that is our daughter...and more fool her.

In a world where University societies hold "dress like a chav" pub crawls, a world where somehow it's ok to ridicule and belittle people on benefits in a way people would never dare discuss race or religion, middle class people (such as me) will have a hard job in shielding our children from this bigotry and discrimination which is about more than just a name.  But though it's a hard job, I'm sure as hell going to try....despite being middle class....which clearly automatically makes me a snob....


  1. There are some shocking sweeping statements in his article aren't there....
    All adopters are middle class.
    All middle class people are snobs.
    All adopters have fertility problems.

    Shocking. Great response though x

  2. Love this! Thanks

  3. Great response. It's awful how much attention sweeping articles like his get rather than the responses, which are far more real!