Over thinking things?!

So, we have our first social worker visit tomorrow. It is exciting to think that we are finally starting our journey but scary to think that there's a small chance it could end here! I say small chance not through arrogance, but just through the fact that we are already approved foster carers and our current social worker was very positive. Being the crazy human I am, though, I will always cling to the little bit of worry instead of the massive amounts of common sense. Must try and work on that! I think it will come in handy for both being a teacher and a parent! Self belief is a wonderful thing!

I fear I am over-using the exclamation mark and my colleagues in the English department would be very disapproving!

A few things have happened since I last blogged. School have been encouraging about giving the same benefits to adopters as maternity pay. It's not in writing yet but hopefully it will be soon as that will make a huge difference. My partner works for a charity so she would only ever get statutory pay which isn't much at all really! It's weird to think that I'm only really just starting in my teaching career and it won't be long before I go part time. I think this will be hugely beneficial to me in getting the most out of parenting, teaching and life generally and I feel massively blessed that we're in a position where we can do it. I have spent most of today making a huge spreadsheet of incomings and outgoings to work out where we really are with things. Said spreadsheet has many, many formulae and is pleasingly colourful which makes me feel better. Sad really!

The second important decision we have to make is whether we continue as foster carers (or even start!) We registered our interest in becoming respite carers to a disabled child way back at the beginning of 2010 and we have just been matched with a little boy. The idea of the scheme is that you are matched with a child throughout their childhood, offering respite for one weekend every month. When we started the process and underwent the foster carer training we didn't even know that we wanted to adopt. Going through the process and talking to each other, as well as meeting and talking to people at New Family Social meant that we felt we were actually more ready than we realised. Working through everything with our foster caring social worker and going through the approval process gave us the insight and confidence we needed to start the adoption process. This in itself is really great! But now we're not sure where to go with starting a link with a child or not. Our social worker thinks we over think and worry about things (true enough, I am partial to a spot of procrastination or two); but I feel like I don't want to put all the time and effort (and the child's time and effort too) over the next few months to then break the link when we have our extension, then again when we are matched and a child is placed with us, and then possibly permanently. It seems a bit rude! I wonder if someone else might be better. But then we actually have to be formally deregistered as foster carers when we haven't even started which in itself seems a bit mad. I'll talk to the social worker about it tomorrow (poor woman!)

Again, I'm rambling on. Congratulations if you made it this far! I feel I should tell you a joke or something as a reward. "What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!" Boom boom...

Something's telling me it's time for bed.