Tuesday, 12 March 2013
Under a little cloud
Ooops. I'm under a little cloud again. Yesterday was a good day but now Squiblet has a cold and is generally feeling rotten which means she is being a pickle in the extreme and I'm trying to be caring and sympathetic when she splats weetabix everywhere and spits out her cereal but it's not that easy! I don't feel like much of a super mum. I feel exhausted and massively lacking in patience. It's hard because if she isn't eating because she doesn't feel well, I still have to do something about the fact that she is massively acting up. And today I just couldn't face more of the agro at meal times.
I just feel too tired to deal with it with the patience I need. I made her sit in her high chair while I cleared it up and I was less sympathetic and gentle when I wiped her face. I think a small part of me wanted her to feel upset because she had upset me, but it's ridiculous because she is not even two and I'm an adult and should stop being such a nob.
She's just snuggled up and had cuddles and medicine and gone down for her nap. I need to go and have a snooze and try to get rid of this horrible overwhelming tired feeling which means I'm not being the mum I want to be.
Everyone says it's ok to just be "good enough" sometimes and I know I am being "good enough." I'm not usually perfectionist by any means but I hate the part of me which wants her to feel bad when she has thrown food or whatever. I don't want to turn into some kind of nutty punitive parent!
Still, lunch was fine and we popped over to see my neighbour who is a jolly old soul and cheered me and Squiblet up. I know she is ill because she is actually sitting still to watch television and not getting up after 5 minutes! We gave swimming a miss today, partly because I couldn't face the fallout as I wasn't sure she was up to it.
It's all making me feel pretty rubbish although once again, I feel better after a little ramble on here.
I'm sure things will look up soon, and they aren't even that bad with a rational head on, unfortunately I'm lacking that vital piece of mum equipment at the moment. I think my rational head is probably hidden somewhere under my big fluffy duvet...I'm fact...I might have to go and look for it now!X