Sunday, 15 January 2012

Things are starting to happen!

So...we've had our first home study visit.  It was all a bit stressful to start with as the taxi I had booked from work was twenty five minutes late so she arrived before I did.  Not a good start but she was very lovely about it and is just generally interested, funny and seems very down to earth and kind.

This meeting was really just about setting up other meetings, collecting data on our references and writing our work histories so nothing too scary.  On Monday (tomorrow) she is coming to school to do my attachment style questionnaire which should be interesting.  It takes 1 1/2 hours!  The authority we are adopting with find it really valuable, but I don't think all local authorities do one.  The idea is that if you are more of a person who hides in a corner and shuts out the world when you are sad, they won't place a child with you who has a similar personality (attachment style) or equally if you are someone who screams and shouts they would try not to place you with another screamer/shouter!  I think that's the idea anyway.  I think there are some attachment styles which they feel are unsuitable for adopters to have, but it's unlikely if you are a happy, functioning member of society, that you would have one of those!  I hope that makes sense.  I will let you know more tomorrow.

It's such a beautiful day today.  I'm just feeling rather lucky at the moment.  We went to visit our partially knocked down house yesterday and it was exciting to see the space that will be the new kiddy bedroom.  We also went to see the twins, who were their usual cute and awesome little selves!  I can't believe how fast they are growing.

Sunday has come quickly this weekend!  I went ours last night for the first time in ages and woke up at about ten so haven't had as much of the day as usual.  It's funny how we are appreciating being able to do things like that now as we know that at some point we won't have that luxury.

One thing our social worker asked was how long we expected the process to take.  I said I was trying not to set myself too firm a deadline as I thought then I would be likely to be disappointed.  I'm not sure if I should have said "well, obviously we're aiming for June!" To encourage a bit of speed...but there's no rush.  We're not old and we need to finish our house and we appreciate that these things take time.

Another thing we talked about briefly was "one child or two? "  We always initially said two (hence "two mums, two kids").  But lately I've  been thinking it would be better to start with one.  We live in a lovely community with lots of children around so there would be plenty of children for them to play with and it seems to me that the issues that adopted children have (low self esteem etc.) are the opposite to only child syndrome (sense of self importance etc.) but...who knows!  My partner is sure she wants to, and currently I say one (!) but we shall see. It's definitely something we need to discuss at length and with the social worker.

We made our family trees and eco maps at the weekend too.  The eco map was fun as it gave us a really good picture of all the wonderful people we have in our lives; friends, family etc. and how well supported we are.

Right.  I'm off out to enjoy the sunshine and get some fresh air.  

Take care, everyone! X

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