Sunday, 20 January 2013

High highs and low lows


What a funny old day.  She charmed everyone at the supermarket (it's the only time in our lives a trip to a supermarket has felt like an exciting day out but we needed to get out of the house and escape from the snow). She spent the trip saying thank you to everyone, saying "'old on" and wanting to hold everything we put in the basket, and giving everyone the shopping list.

She has been testing boundaries at meal times but is responding really well to us just praising good behaviour and ignoring the bad. And the bad isn't that bad...and is usually pretty funny but Mummy and Mama are learning not to laugh when (again) we hear..."uh-oh....drop!" and her peering over the edge of her clip on high chair (it's a phil and ted's lobster which is great as it really means she is part of meal times!). Then she will demand an ookat (yogurt) or some chagachaga button (chocolate buttons) and sometimes we oblige...but only if she says please!

She was really out of sorts after her nap today. Usually I go in and she grins at me from her cot and we have a lovely cuddle and change her nappy. Today she didn't look herself at all and she started crying what I call real tears, rather than the usual toddlery "I don't want to do that" tears. I just cuddled and cuddled her and took her into our bed and eventually she fell asleep on me.  It was a bitter sweet moment as it was the first time I felt like she had really cried tears which I worried were to do with her circumstances, but on the other hand, it was so wonderful that she could take comfort from me and fall asleep in my arms. I cried this evening again, partly for her. A 20 month old baby shouldn't have to feel this pain, but also because I felt like I was out of my depth, and didn't know what to do, and I feel bad every time I feel a little bit exasperated by her because I feel like I have no right to be exasperated as she is just doing so incredibly well.  She took a long while to settle again tonight, I just sat with her and cuddled her quietly repeating "it's bedtime" in my best soothing voice.  I asked her what she was thinking about as I wondered if she might like go try talking about things but she said "animals!" She was talking about the wall stickers of birds and animals in her room! Every night we have to kiss and stroke each one and say "see you in the morning!"  We had tantrums at teeth cleaning time today.  They are funny old tantrums because she will hug me so tight as she cries, even though I am the evil witch wielding the toothbrush of doom.  It's a funny old thing. I just keep on cuddling her and patiently encouraging her until eventually she gives in.  But there were a lot of tears tonight! I don't feel like I can give in on tooth cleaning as it's just so important and she is usually fine with it so she's just being a pickle, but also feeling unsettled and funny and not really understanding why. 

But we had some high highs today. I keep singing the Ne-yo song "she's a monster, a beautiful monster, but I don't mind!" to her, and she loves it. We all danced in the kitchen with her on the hip seat and she was in absolute hysterics!  She was chuckling and giggling her head off it was so funny! She sings along, singing "Munter..." Which seems a bit wrong, but she can't say monster yet!  Oh dear, it's really very funny! We were all crying with laughter!

So that was a high high, and a big family memory for us.

We are getting her first proper shoes tomorrow so that's another landmark day.

Wonderful times, and I'm not weepy in the mornings any more. I bought myself some frizz ease today so hopefully I can feel like less of a frumpy mum! I am a bit run down and have a huge ulcer in my throat (tmi- sorry!) which isn't helping my general feeling of chipperness and wellbeing but we are OK. We are better than Ok, we are great! We are a family!

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